Categories
Just Being Funny Sketches

TikTok shaky hands shoplifting hack (@hanskimarie)

JBF is back by popular demand. That’s right, I’m bringing you all-new hilarious TRUE tales and truly stupid thoughts. Subscribe to my YouTube or newsletter for more funny stories!

Award-winning Caribbean comedian, Onicia Muller regrets leaving St. Maarten for windy Chicago. Her weekly humour column, Just Being Funny is chicken soup for the naive sceptic’s soul. Join her newsletter for funny stories and stand-up comedy. OniciaMuller.com/JBF.

Categories
Just Being Funny

Getting scammed on Ecuadorian beach—Just Being Funny

JBF is back by popular demand. That’s right, I’m bringing you all-new hilarious TRUE tales and truly stupid thoughts. Subscribe to my YouTube or newsletter for more funny stories!

Award-winning Caribbean comedian, Onicia Muller regrets leaving St. Maarten for windy Chicago. Her weekly humour column, Just Being Funny is chicken soup for the naive sceptic’s soul. Join her newsletter for funny stories and stand-up comedy. OniciaMuller.com/JBF.

Categories
Botchecd Booty Series Comedy

Butt Doc violated me at a party: Botched Booty Story Time 10

Hey Friends,

It’s me, Onicia—writer, comedian, survivor of a botched booty hole surgery. That’s right, I’ve been gone for a minute because I pushed out a human and then the Bad Butt Doc™ totally botched my hemorrhoidectomy.

Why am I confessing all of this in a 10-part video series? Well, the internet said Lil Fizz showed his anus on Only Fans. They claimed he looked busted and ran through. And to be overly honest—y’all already know oversharing is how I pay the bills—I decided to tell my truth. So, buckle up, like, comment, and subscribeeeeee!

On some level, I think I’m afraid of being an Angry Black Woman or a diva, but this whole situation was avoidable and unacceptable. If this ding dong had simply said he was too tired to operate, and maybe if he wasn’t high key racist and grossly underestimated how much pain I was in, then maybe I wouldn’t have to blast him on the internet!

Can’t watch? Listen to all the drama on Spotify for Podcasters!

Categories
Botchecd Booty Series Comedy

Hemorrhoidectomy complications: Botched Booty Story Time 9

Hey Friends,

It’s me, Onicia—writer, comedian, survivor of a botched booty hole surgery. That’s right, I’ve been gone for a minute because I pushed out a human and then the Bad Butt Doc™ totally botched my hemorrhoidectomy.

Why am I confessing all of this in a 10-part video series? Well, the internet said Lil Fizz showed his anus on Only Fans. They claimed he looked busted and ran through. And to be overly honest—y’all already know oversharing is how I pay the bills—I decided to tell my truth. So, buckle up, like, comment, and subscribeeeeee!

More pain. More Tears. Part 9 is the penultimate episode of my botched booty surgery saga. I trusted the doc and leaned into the opioids and it caused constipation! The last thing I need is to destroy the new boot!!!

Can’t watch? Listen to all the drama on Spotify for Podcasters!

Categories
Botchecd Booty Series Comedy

Hemorrhoidectomy lies: Botched Booty Story Time 8

Hey Friends,

It’s me, Onicia—writer, comedian, survivor of a botched booty hole surgery. That’s right, I’ve been gone for a minute because I pushed out a human and then the Bad Butt Doc™ totally botched my hemorrhoidectomy.

Why am I confessing all of this in a 10-part video series? Well, the internet said Lil Fizz showed his anus on Only Fans. They claimed he looked busted and ran through. And to be overly honest—y’all already know oversharing is how I pay the bills—I decided to tell my truth. So, buckle up, like, comment, and subscribeeeeee!

My doctor promised I would be healed in 3 weeks. But, multiple ER visits later I realized that these doctors are LIARS! In part 8 I meet a nother booty groupie. What is it with these fanboy doctors?!

Can’t watch? Listen to all the drama on Spotify for Podcasters!

Categories
Botchecd Booty Series Comedy

I should have sued my doctor: Botched Booty Story Time 7

Hey Friends,

It’s me, Onicia—writer, comedian, survivor of a botched booty hole surgery. That’s right, I’ve been gone for a minute because I pushed out a human and then the Bad Butt Doc™ totally botched my hemorrhoidectomy.

Why am I confessing all of this in a 10-part video series? Well, the internet said Lil Fizz showed his anus on Only Fans. They claimed he looked busted and ran through. And to be overly honest—y’all already know oversharing is how I pay the bills—I decided to tell my truth. So, buckle up, like, comment, and subscribeeeeee!

Listen, I’ve pushed humans out of my whohaha without an epidural. The pain I felt was like no other. You’re gonna need more than Tylenol. Part 7 is all the reasons why I should have sued that shitty butt doc!

Can’t watch? Listen to all the drama on Spotify for Podcasters!

Categories
Botchecd Booty Series Comedy

Bleeding out after hemorrhoidectomy: Botched Booty Story Time 6

Hey Friends,

It’s me, Onicia—writer, comedian, survivor of a botched booty hole surgery. That’s right, I’ve been gone for a minute because I pushed out a human and then the Bad Butt Doc™ totally botched my hemorrhoidectomy.

Why am I confessing all of this in a 10-part video series? Well, the internet said Lil Fizz showed his anus on Only Fans. They claimed he looked busted and ran through. And to be overly honest—y’all already know oversharing is how I pay the bills—I decided to tell my truth. So, buckle up, like, comment, and subscribeeeeee!

Beloveds, it truly is a miracle that I am alive. That ding dong munchin’-a$$ doctor didn’t stitch me up correctly. I was bleeding out of my booty for several hours post-surgery. Part 6 is a doozy.

Can’t watch? Listen to all the drama on Spotify for Podcasters!

Categories
Botchecd Booty Series Comedy

Pain like no other: Botched booty story time 5

Hey Friends,

It’s me, Onicia—writer, comedian, survivor of a botched booty hole surgery. That’s right, I’ve been gone for a minute because I pushed out a human and then the Bad Butt Doc™ totally botched my hemorrhoidectomy.

Why am I confessing all of this in a 10-part video series? Well, the internet said Lil Fizz showed his anus on Only Fans. They claimed he looked busted and ran through. And to be overly honest—y’all already know oversharing is how I pay the bills—I decided to tell my truth. So, buckle up, like, comment, and subscribeeeeee!

Hold on to your breakfast because, in part 5, I’m about to get super graphic explaining the pain and horror that is a hemorrhoidectomy.

Categories
Botchecd Booty Series Comedy

The surgeon forgot me: Botched Booty Story Time 4

Hey Friends,

It’s me, Onicia—writer, comedian, survivor of a botched booty hole surgery. That’s right, I’ve been gone for a minute because I pushed out a human and then the Bad Butt Doc™ totally botched my hemorrhoidectomy.

Why am I confessing all of this in a 10-part video series? Well, the internet said Lil Fizz showed his anus on Only Fans. They claimed he looked busted and ran through. And to be overly honest—y’all already know oversharing is how I pay the bills—I decided to tell my truth. So, buckle up, like, comment, and subscribeeeeee!

In part 4, we finally arrive at my big surgery date. I was so excited about my new booty until dun, dun, dunnnn… the stupid surgeon forgot I was coming.

Can’t watch? Listen to all the drama on Spotify for Podcasters!

Categories
Botchecd Booty Series Comedy

Paging Dr. Groupie: Botched Booty Story Time pt 3

Hey Friends,

It’s me, Onicia—writer, comedian, survivor of a botched booty hole surgery. That’s right, I’ve been gone for a minute because I pushed out a human and then the Bad Butt Doc™ totally botched my hemorrhoidectomy.

Why am I confessing all of this in a 10-part video series? Well, the internet said Lil Fizz showed his anus on Only Fans. They claimed he looked busted and ran through. And to be overly honest—y’all already know oversharing is how I pay the bills—I decided to tell my truth. So, buckle up, like, comment, and subscribeeeeee!

In part 3, I go in for my hemorrhoidectomy consultation. For reasons unknown, my butt doc turns out to be a groupie. I think the kids would call him a ‘munch’. Either way, that should have been the first red flag.

Can’t watch? Listen to all the drama on Spotify for Podcasters!