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News Onicia Updates

Daniel Rosehill on sketchy landlords and Mariann Aalda on ageism — Onicia Update

Hey friends,

NEW #SCAMSSS: Daniel Rosehill on annual rent increases and landlords picking your roommates

Daniel Rosehill has the best roommate (aww) and he rates annual rent increases as ‘scams’! KEEP READING

Daniel Roseholl - Onicia Muller - Devin Whitlock - Scams Swindles and Schemes podcast

Nah fam, I ain’t going to jail over some yoghurt—Just Being Funny

Speaking of useless but well-meaning property owners.The breakfast burglar struck again! I was enraged imagining them stumbling into the hostel after a night of misdeeds and slinked into the kitchen where they laughed at my sign while eating my yoghurt

Caribbean Comedian Onicia Muller

Mariann Aalda: Ageism Is a Bully…Stand Up to It!

Funny woman Mariann Aalda (@mariannaalda) shares the guiding principle she has utilized throughout her life, which she now applies to getting older. Her hope is that at the end of it, you’ll be saying to yourself: “I’ll have what she’s having.” Chicago native and Southern Illinois University alumna, Mariann Aalda was one of the first African-American daytime soap opera heroines as attorney DiDi Bannister on Edge of Night. Her acting career included roles on Sunset Beach, First & 10, Guiding Light, The Royal Family and Designing Women. She also hosted USA’s Designs for Living.

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News Onicia Updates

NEW #Scamsss + Sucker’s Garden audio drama

Hey Friends,

This week’s newsletter is packed with all of that. Season 2, episode 1 of #Scamsss is live. Also, take a listen to an audio drama I wrote with Kimberly Meyers. It stars some of my favorite acting talents from St. Maarten and Chicago. Should we produce the rest of the story? It’s already written!

NEW #SCAMSSS: Lace front wigs are still sus and you need body lotion

We start Season 2 revisiting one of our hottest takes from Season 1: lace front wigs and body lotion! KEEP READING

Sucker’s Garden – A Caribbean Audio Drama

A near-fatal carjacking forces a young man with lots of potential but a shady private life to choose between doing the right thing by helping a girl he barely knows and keeping his brother’s secret.

Funny Forward: @bodyourage

Do y’all act like this or nah?

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News Onicia Updates

The Writer’s Room Women’s History Month Panel — Onicia Update

Hey Friends,

TGIF!!!!!!!!! I really enjoyed hearing your takes on my current TV shows. Looking forward to watching your TV and YouTube recommendations.

Season 2 of Scams, Swindles, and Schemes premieres in 1 WEEK! Plenty of time to catch up on Season 1. Click to watch episode clips on YouTube.

The Writers Room Women’s History Month Panel

The Jeniro Agency invited me and some other talented writers to share our experiences and knowledge during its upcoming virtual panel.

The Writers Room was created during the height of the pandemic. It was conceptualized to build a space to connect individuals directly to media, but also to educate and authentically familiarize those with how media works, how pitching works, and the in’s and outs of true storytelling.

Now on our fourth go around, we are bringing The Writers Room back with new talent, new faces, and new writers to curate the same experience as the past three have lived up to! You’ll experience knowledge and insight into the media world, you’ll connect organically with writers, and you might just get placed in some cool outlets!

Thursday, March 31, 2022
7:00 PM CST

The Jeniro Agency, The Writers Room - Women's History Month - Onicia Muller

Therapy Would Be Cheaper

Fellow Whohaha.com podcaster, Kenzie Rowland invited me on her podcast Therapy Would Be Cheaper. While we wait for that episode to air, enjoy Kenzie and Maurie Speed talking about religious trauma. It’s a hilarious and insightful listen.

what if jesus doesn't have the wheel and i'm a terrible driver. Therapy would be cheaper - Kenzie Rowland - Maurie Sped

BTW, if you decide that therapy might be cheaper than whatever loco you’re doing right now, consider Erin Matthews and the licensed professionals at Living in Empathy.

Funny Forward @mayamontrell

If a comic screams “cancel culture” in a forest with no one around to hear, how many book deals would they get by the end of the business day? #cancelculture #readingrainbow🌈 #GirlShutUp #PoorChoicesAreNotOppression WATCH ON TIKTOK

Let the Black people in your life know you care. Send them a funny greeting card. [JOIN MAILING LIST] for 30% off all orders over $20.

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News Onicia Updates

Abbott Elementary 😍 + Chat w/ Diane De La Haye, ‘Fab 4’ screenwriter

Hey Friends,

I’ve been watching so much TV that my eyes are bleeding. Have you seen any of these shows? If yes, tell me how much you love them (@OniciaMuller).

  • Abbott Elementary (ABC)
  • Grand Crew (ABC)
  • Ghosts (CBS)
  • Dietland (AMC / Hulu)
  • Inventing Anna (Netflix)
  • Ready for Love (OWN)
  • Love is Blind (Netflix)
  • Power: Force (Starz)

And if you know me in real life, text me so we can coordinate our viewing schedule <3.

I won the dumbest lawsuit ever —Just Being Funny

I was checking my spam folder, hoping for the real Bill Gates™ to confirm that he was sending me money when I noticed an email from a law firm about a data breach at Zappos. KEEP READING

Interview with Caribbean Screenwriter Diane De La Haye

Diane and I discuss the writing and producing process. We also watch the amazing trailer for Fab 4 and the Silent Retreat. MORE DETAILS

[JOIN MAILING LIST] for 30% off all orders over $20.

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Fangirlin' News Onicia Updates Women in Comedy

NEW Scams, Swindles, and Schemes + ‘Fab 4’ movie premier—Onicia Update

Hey Friends,

Another week, another scam.
NEW Scams, Swindles, and Schemes

I got an ad for Suvie, a countertop kitchen robot. It’s a 2 – part system. The Veggie and meat maker is $399 and the pasta/coffee maker is $399. BIG BOOTY BUTTCHEEKS–there’s a catch– you can only get that price if you buy into the meal subscription service. FULL EPISODE

Or share this Suvie ‘first impressions’ clip.

Last day to support Podca$h

Devin and I applied for a grant(?) from Podca$h. Help increase our chances by sending Podca$h a ‘love letter’ about #Scamsss. Deadline March 4. Don’t know what to say? Copy this handy message:

“Hey Podca$h, I need my weekly dose of #Scamsss. Give Devin and Onicia some money…and maybe also your social security number.”

https://www.podcash.com/love-letters/p2D36

Funny Forward: Fab 4 and the Silent Retreat

Faced with a myriad of issues as they approach 40, a group of loud, feisty Caribbean friends travel to Nepal for a Silent Retreat. MORE DETAILS

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News Onicia Updates

Podcasting grant and supporting Black creators — Onicia Update

Hey Friends,

Devin and I applied for a grant(?) from Podca$h. Help increase our chances by sending Podca$h a ‘love letter’ about #Scamsss. Deadline March 4. Don’t know what to say? Copy this handy message:

“Hey Podca$h, I need my weekly dose of #Scamsss. Give Devin and Onicia some money…and maybe also your social security number.”

https://www.podcash.com/love-letters/p2D36

Breadfruit Media has podcasting tips

The very booked and busy Kerry-Ann Reid-Brown, founder of Breadfruit Media and Carry on Friends Podcast created a lovely podcasting resource. So, if you want to start a podcast, this Podcast Starter free mini course is for you.

7 super cute passion twist styles

As y’all know, I’m not booty guru but I do make content for beauty brands. Anyway, #TBT to when my beauty bestie Janera Rose created this fun hair tutorial. Anways, it’s February, go support a Black woman by like, commenting, and subscribing.

Stupid Thoughts—Just Being Funny

caribbean comedian onicia muller - just being funny

I’ve been a prolific nonsense talker for a long time. Here are some other stupid (but hopefully helpful) thoughts. Social media profiles: Please remove expired domains from your bio. I’m tryna stalk, and you’re leading me to dead ends. KEEP READING

“Who can relate??? 🙋🏾‍♀️🙋🏾‍♀️ Those moments when you about to act all the way up on social media and your mogul spirit activates and intervenes 🤣🤣.” Follow @trending_sxm on Instagram.

Let the Black people in your life know you care. Send them a funny greeting card. [JOIN MAILING LIST] for 30% off all orders over $20.

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News Onicia Updates

Princess and the Frog is a Black history fail—Onicia Update

Hey friends,

To celebrate completing Kalani the Fisherman, an original Caribbean folklore that I wrote for the 4C Foundation (Foresee Foundation), I’m revisiting La Diablesse.

I left St. Maarten hoping to write Caribbean stories for and staring Caribbean people. Projects like these remind me that I’m on the right track. Happy Black History Month!

Fun fact: Kalani is my super cute nephew. I love putting my people in my stories. <3

La Diablesse: Caribbean folklore audio drama

Princess and the Frog was a struggle—Just Being Funny

As a blaque woman, I’m tired of us having to play captain save a scrub. Yeah, yeah, they world likes to pretend like we’re unworthy bottomfeeders with a thunder load of children looking for a handout, but that ain’t true. Black women stay holding this raggedy world together, and we deserved more than a *checks notes* no-‘count philandering lazy bump on a log for a prince. And das fax. Big fax. KEEP READING

Kellye Howard is a natural crackhead

First off, I STAN FOR KELLYE! But also, this set kills me every time. EVERY TIME! Follow Kellye Howard on Twitter.

Let the Black people in your life know you care. Send them a funny greeting card. [JOIN MAILING LIST] for 30% off all orders over $20.

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News Onicia Updates

Paying for a movie deal + breast implants?—Onicia Updates

She lives!

New #scamsss and #JBFxOnicia. You’re welcome.


$299 for 5 Minutes to Practice a Pitch?! And No Deal

Airplanes, bagel heads, and breast implants—Just Being Funny

Caribbean comedian - onicia muller - breast implant - plastic surgery

The first generation of modern implants came out in 1963. Before then, breast augmentation surgery could be traced back to the 1800s. That’s right, we were blowing up boobies before we figured out vacuum cleaners, radio broadcasting, and electric washing machines! [READ JBF]

Cries in #trilingual 😢

Angelica (panchopiggytron) has another hilarious clip about Mexican culture (click on image or this link to watch)

Use [SECRET CODE FOR NEWSLETTER SUBSCRIBERS] for 30% off all orders over $20. Expires when I change my mind. Should I make animated greeting cards?

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News Onicia Updates

Got paid $1600 for 1 article 🤑 — Onicia Update

Although I’m published every week, it’s been a while since I linked to any published writings. No reason except laziness and I want to keep this newsletter focused on comedy and creative writing. Well, last week I got a Google Alert for an article I wrote last month.

Yo, Tribune Publishing paid me $1,600 for this article. For context, $1+/word is considered the holy grail for freelance writers. LOL, a heaux was ready to retire when that direct deposit hit.

Please click the link so Chicago Magazine feels like they got their money’s worth.

An Estate Sale Goddess Tells One Couple’s Love Story

Lynn Rousseau McDaniel staged an estate sale earlier this fall for the family of Claude A. and Etta Moten Barnett. Photography by Nolis Anderson (Tribune Publishing)
Lynn Rousseau McDaniel staged an estate sale earlier this fall for the family of Claude A. and Etta Moten Barnett. Photography by Nolis Anderson (Tribune Publishing)

Happy St Maarten Day!

St Maarten Day will forever be a happy-sad time since my Tante Violet passed away on November 11, 2020. (Aw, typing that made me cry. I really miss my people). Anyway, I wore my vintage 37 Square Miles T-shirt to feel less sad.

My friend Kareem says I sounded Irish in my SXM Day greeting. LOL. I was going for Jamaican light. What y’all think?

Profesisonal Black woman, Onicia Muller riding a horse while wearing a 37 square mile T-shirt
Professional Black woman, Onicia Muller, riding a horse while wearing a 37 square mile T-shirt

NEW Funny Greeting Cards!

According to my time tracker, I spent about 27 hours between October 25 and November 12 producing this new collection of cards. Yo, my skills are really leveling up.

Use code [REDACTED. Join the email list for code] for 50% until December 31, 2021. This is only for newsletter subscribers. I will not be sharing this code on social media.

Watch me write, design, and upload the cards to my storefront. Subscribe to my YouTube Channel for more live-streamed behind-the-scenes content around my creative process.

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News Onicia Updates

#Scamsss podcast on WhoHaha—OniciaUpdate

#scamsss update

#Scamsss will be on WhoHaha.com next week!

WhoHaha is a media platform that spotlights and supports women in comedy. It was co-founded by actress, director, producer and badass Elizabeth Banks.

Elizabeth Banks - Scamsss podcast on whohaha
Elizabeth Banks (source: Instagram)

Recap of top scams—um, wins:

Season 2 of #scamsss premiers Friday, April 1, 2022.

Email HeyOnicia@oniciamuller.com if you’d like to be a guest, suggest a topic, or sponsor the show.

Confession: We were high-key concerned that #Scamsss wasn’t big enough to be considered by WhoHaha or any media platform. But we shot our shots and are super thankful for all the love.

Devin has hope for Gen Z

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