Sometimes I feel trapped. Depression weighs me down and I don’t want to be perceived. I want to share because I enjoy sharing, but it feels disingenuous to share while withholding that I’m feeling like shit.
The voice in my head tells me that people don’t want to be associated with losers who are negative. So, I don’t post. I sit in this trapped feeling.
I finally recorded a 25-minute video where I shared some of the things that were bothering me. I’ve made videos like this before, but have never posted them.
Just as I loaded the file into my video editor, I remembered that I pitched a collaboration to someone. I thought, oh no, I can’t put this negativity into the world because that person might see it and be turned off. I can’t post my negative feelings because I’m trying to sell my movie and need potential producers to like me instead of being worried that I might be a PR nightmare.
Anyway, I loaded the file into my video editor at womp, womp the audio was muted.
MUTED!
God, you really don’t want me to get these feelings off my chest eh?
Things I do to push through depression
- Take a nap
- Eat a snack
- Drink water
DRINK WATER, NOT JUICE OR COFFEE OR SOME LIQUID DEATH ENERGY DRINK - Take a walk
- Vent into my audio recorder
These files are never for sharing. There’s just something about putting my feelings on the record that makes me feel heard - Schedule an appointment with my therapist
- Triple check that I’m taking my meds
- DON’T SHAVE YOUR HEAD
- Pray
- Call a friend
- Listen to someone else’s problems
- Clean
- DON’T SHAVE YOUR HEAD
- Watch a funny movie
I finally saw The BLACKening. It was a good mix of scary and funny. The last two times I was feeling down, I watched One of Them Days
- Shower
- Create something for someone you love
- Cuddle a tiny human or an animal
- Get back on the saddle
Most times, I just have to fake it until I’m back in the grove and my sad phase is behind me.
Those or just some of the things I did this week. I still feel pretty funky but at least I didn’t shave my head or crash out on the internet.
How are you? What do you do to get through tough days.