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Got paid $1600 for 1 article 🤑 — Onicia Update

Although I’m published every week, it’s been a while since I linked to any published writings. No reason except laziness and I want to keep this newsletter focused on comedy and creative writing. Well, last week I got a Google Alert for an article I wrote last month.

Yo, Tribune Publishing paid me $1,600 for this article. For context, $1+/word is considered the holy grail for freelance writers. LOL, a heaux was ready to retire when that direct deposit hit.

Please click the link so Chicago Magazine feels like they got their money’s worth.

An Estate Sale Goddess Tells One Couple’s Love Story

Lynn Rousseau McDaniel staged an estate sale earlier this fall for the family of Claude A. and Etta Moten Barnett. Photography by Nolis Anderson (Tribune Publishing)
Lynn Rousseau McDaniel staged an estate sale earlier this fall for the family of Claude A. and Etta Moten Barnett. Photography by Nolis Anderson (Tribune Publishing)

Happy St Maarten Day!

St Maarten Day will forever be a happy-sad time since my Tante Violet passed away on November 11, 2020. (Aw, typing that made me cry. I really miss my people). Anyway, I wore my vintage 37 Square Miles T-shirt to feel less sad.

My friend Kareem says I sounded Irish in my SXM Day greeting. LOL. I was going for Jamaican light. What y’all think?

Profesisonal Black woman, Onicia Muller riding a horse while wearing a 37 square mile T-shirt
Professional Black woman, Onicia Muller, riding a horse while wearing a 37 square mile T-shirt

NEW Funny Greeting Cards!

According to my time tracker, I spent about 27 hours between October 25 and November 12 producing this new collection of cards. Yo, my skills are really leveling up.

Use code [REDACTED. Join the email list for code] for 50% until December 31, 2021. This is only for newsletter subscribers. I will not be sharing this code on social media.

Watch me write, design, and upload the cards to my storefront. Subscribe to my YouTube Channel for more live-streamed behind-the-scenes content around my creative process.

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News Onicia Updates

#Scamsss podcast on WhoHaha—OniciaUpdate

#scamsss update

#Scamsss will be on WhoHaha.com next week!

WhoHaha is a media platform that spotlights and supports women in comedy. It was co-founded by actress, director, producer and badass Elizabeth Banks.

Elizabeth Banks - Scamsss podcast on whohaha
Elizabeth Banks (source: Instagram)

Recap of top scams—um, wins:

Season 2 of #scamsss premiers Friday, April 1, 2022.

Email HeyOnicia@oniciamuller.com if you’d like to be a guest, suggest a topic, or sponsor the show.

Confession: We were high-key concerned that #Scamsss wasn’t big enough to be considered by WhoHaha or any media platform. But we shot our shots and are super thankful for all the love.

Devin has hope for Gen Z

Like. Comment. Share. Subscribe.

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News Onicia Updates

Big Sundance Update – Onicia Updates

Whomp whomp, our script Counting on Kendra didn’t land us the Sundance Episodic Labs fellowship. How are we feeling? It hurt for a little bit but we have other projects to focus on that not getting Sundance didn’t sting as much. Thankful for everyone who said nice things, sent care packages, and bought me ice cream.

Fun fact: American Filmmaker Ava DuVernay was rejected from Sundance six times. Count ’em one, two, three, four, five, SIX!

Counting on Kendra was my third submission to Sundance’s Episodic Labs. Two of three of my submissions advanced to the second round. There’s no doubt in our minds that we are talented writers.

IN OTHER NEWS

Last month, I did another collaboration with American Greetings. They bought two greeting card concepts for their Our Voices line. As stated in a previous update, I won’t know when my cards will be available for purchase. So, if you want to support me, you can shop American Greetings or buy an original Onicia Greetings from my online store

Cards not your thing? Consider sending me ice cream money.

IN OTHER UNSPONSORED NEWS

ASE Beauty, a company I write content for, is launching its new line of lip care products. I got my lip kit a few weeks ago (perks of being on the team) and I enjoyed creating my own mini spa day. If beauty is your thing, skip over to ASE’s online shop and get you some goodies while they’re 20% off. Use code CLEANKISSES20.

Just Being Funny: The Prime Minister vs. Onicia Pope, Political Fixer
It was a dark and rainy night when Bahamian Prime Minister Dr. Hubert Minnis entered the offices of Onicia Pope, Caribbean political fixer. MINNIS: As you might have read, Hurricane Dorian hit the Bahamas pretty badly. ONICIA: I did. And? MINNIS: I needed to rebuild quickly, smartly and with resilience, so I hosted the Hurricane […]

Just Being Funny: Some men wear thongs, respect that

Why aren’t men’s bathrooms 100% stalls? Like, what is the urinal? Compared to toilets, urinals don’t increase the capacity of the bathroom. What is the cost of dropping some partitions and giving men a lil backdrop? Don’t it get a lil draftee for y’all? I just don’t understand. Well, one night I woke up and […]


Lastly, I want to thank the GOOD web developer erica dreisbach for creating my new WordPress website. Holla at her. 

Looking for a content writer or editor? Hire me to write snappy blogs, articles or witty social media posts!

Categories
News Onicia Updates

The truth about American Greetings – Onicia Updates

Last year I sold eight cards to American Greetings. Since then, many of you have asked when my funny greeting cards will be available for purchase. Well, I contacted American Greetings’ Creative Team and basically it takes years before card ideas hit the shelves.

The good news is that Deb Walker (Purely Zen Art) and I are teaming up to create a line of funny greeting cards and we’d like your feedback.

Last month, I teamed up with the kates for their Stay Home and Laugh In Fundraiser for The Book Cellar. We raised over $1400 in two hours! THANKS <3

Did I tell you about the time my super conservative boyfriend made me wait four months for a hug

Looking for a content writer or editor? Hire me to write snappy blogs and articles or witty social media posts! HeyOnicia@OniciaMuller.com