Comedy Scams Swindles Schemes Web Series

Joyce Hagen-McIntosh defends libraries + Squibler writing app review —Scams, Swindles, and Schemes

Podcaster, librarian, and consultant Joyce Hagen-McIntosh joins Onicia and Devin this week because she and Devin have a lot in common and all three of them love books. They were so appalled at the idea of privatizing libraries that it threatened to take over the episode, but they managed to pull it back, play a game, and have a fun time as always.

Squibler is a writing app where if you stop typing for more than five seconds, everything you’ve written disappears. This seems less like a writing exercise and more of a way for criminals to get stuff off their chest without confessing to the police. It advertises itself as the Most Dangerous Writing App, and we believe it based on the anxiety it causes.

You can reach out to us on Twitter, donate to our sleazy lawyer fund, subscribe to Devin’s and Onicia’s YouTube channels–and tell us your favorite part about going to the library.

Squibler writing app gives Devin a panic attack

Onicia made the mistake of going on Twitter again, where this time she discovered someone talking about Squibler. It’s a writing app that generates a prompt or allows you to start free writing, but if you stop for more than five seconds everything you’ve written is erased. Just the idea of that made Devin start to sweat and check his pulse. It’s taken him ten minutes just to write this paragraph!

Question: Would you use Squibler?

Shout at @devinagonistes and @OniciaMuller on Twitter.

Welcome special guest Joyce Hagen-McIntosh!

Joyce Hagen-McIntosh

Comedian, mom, librarian, and lover of life Joyce Hagen-McIntosh can talk to anyone about anything. She is the host of the podcast Books, Bible, Beer, and Queer, and can be found on Twitter at @jmclibrarian and on Instagram at @joycestandup.

Comedian Joyce Hagen-McIntosh: Public Libraries are NOT a scam

Joyce Hagen-McIntosh discusses a Forbes op-ed that was recent at the time of recording that suggested libraries should be privatized and run by corporations like Amazon. This is such a terrible idea in so many ways, Joyce and Devin almost forgot to rank the story a scam, swindle, or scheme! Finally, Joyce pitches her scam as a romance novelist and everybody plays a new game.  

Question: What’s your favorite romance novel and did you find it at the library?

Shout at @devinagonistes and @OniciaMuller on Twitter.

Just Being Funny

Stupid Thoughts—Just Being Funny

I love a good nap. In fact, I consider myself a nap expert of sorts. My obsession with naps goes way back. I wrote a four- or six-page essay in high school, by hand, titled “The Art of Napping.” The section I remember the most detailed how to nap undetected in class. Did I get a passing mark? *hair flick* My English teacher gave me an 8/10.

I say all of that to say I’ve been a prolific nonsense talker for a long time. Here are some other stupid (but hopefully helpful) thoughts.

Social media profiles: Please remove expired domains from your bio. I’m tryna stalk, and you’re leading me to dead ends.

Crepes: Crepes are what happens when a well-meaning parent wants to make pancakes, but they have fifty eleven children to feed.

Relationship status: I’m not single. I’m in an open relationship with myself.

Plus ones: Ever have that friend who is intentionally vague so you have to ask them a million questions just so they don’t try nothing funny?

Who all coming?

Oh, you know, just us.

Who is us?

Jim and them

Who is them?

John and the rest

Who is the rest?

Kim and the crew

Who is the crew?

Not Racist: When people say, “I’m not racist. I have a [race] friend.” That’s like me saying, “I’m not poor. I have a money!”

Babies on social media: What is the most popular social media platform for babies? Yelp. #BadPuns

Marriage statistics: Did you know that being married statistically increases your odds of waking up next to a dead person? You’re welcome.

Self-checkout: Old people use cashiers to avoid computers. Young people use self-checkout to avoid humans…and to steal.

Hair helmets: #DearWhitePeople: Treat Black women’s hair how you treat white men’s toupees. If Bob from Accounting showed up with a new rug, you’re not gonna ask dumb questions like ‘how did you grow it so quickly?’ You not asking for a feel!

Restroom: Real talk, why do they call it a “restroom” when that’s the one place your butthole be working overtime?

Quarantine birthdays: Rumor has it if you celebrate your birthday during quarantine, you don’t actually age a year. You age 84 years.

Career compatibility: Things that make me a good journalist: I be suspicious. Things that make me a bad journalist: I be minding my bidness.

Mafia policies: You think the mafia doing shakedowns via Zoom calls?

Hard truths: I don’t want y’all to be mad, but under her clothes, your mother naked 🙂

Forks: A fork is just a comb for your spaghetti. You’re welcome.

Therapy is expensive so shout out to my Twitter followers (@OniciaMuller) who allow me to share and engage with my silly thoughts and more without canceling me. Thank you for your service.

Award-winning Caribbean comedian, Onicia Muller’s weekly humour column, Just Being Funny is chicken soup for the naive sceptic’s soul. You can hire her to write anything from blogs and newsletters to bathroom poetry funny greeting cards. Join her newsletter for funny stories and stand-up comedy.