This year, I set out to accomplish 2 goals:
- Pay off one of two student loans.
- Produce a table read with trained actors for my Black romantic comedy.
Last Friday, I officially accomplished both. Woot! Woot!
So why do I feel unaccomplished? Why do I have this nagging sense that I should be doing more?
In Growing Gills, Jessica Abel’s book on how to find creative focus when you’re drowning in your daily life, Abel teaches about how to banish the ‘Should Monster‘
The Should Monster is the long list of things you tell yourself you should be doing but don’t do because of reasons. When I read Growing Gills and did the activity book back in 2019, I learned that we can only execute ideas when we have the right amount of resources. Meaning, I can’t write for 8-hours a day if I don’t have 8 free hours in the day.
This brings me to November 21, 2025. I quit my bs retail job after I earned enough money to pay off my student loan. My kids are in school. I am now home feeling frustrated because I haven’t achieved world domination in the week since I’ve been home full time despite having “all the time in the world”.
The Should Monster gets louder every day. It says:
- Apply to at least 1 job a day.
I do. Today, I applied to 3! I should also apply to artist grants. - Query to more producers, executives, and studios.
I sent 30 queries this year. The industry is contracted and I’m an unknown, unrepped writer. - Write more articles for RebelliousMagazine.com.
Maybe I can launch a new career as an eco-minimalist reporter. - Create videos for my ‘Relationship Red Flags‘ series.
Basically, I watch a rom-com and then jokingly point out all the reasons why the couple shouldn’t get together.
- Animate a new season of Nonprofitable
Devin has the script. I just feel like no one watched the first season so why bother?! - Promote ClearMango.com more and find new clients.
This past month I created 2 websites and 3 Instagram reels for clients. - Produce new episodes of #Scamsss
But doing it without Devin is no fun 🙁 Stupid day jobs getting in the way of fun. Every week, I’m texting Devin something ridiculous that we could cover on the show. - Resume working on my next stand-up special DAMP: Down A Morbid Path
I’ve done so much work on this, but like, does the world care? - Do a video series where I review every creative project in chronological order.
No one is asking for this but it might provide clarity for what my next project should be - Turn Rest In Piss, Devin Damuels into a novel and self publish.
Why wait for gatekeepers? Just go make the thing! - Animate Kalani the Fisherman and LaJabless.
I was commissioned to write these Caribbean folklores and think they would make great short stories. But like, one of them is 17 minutes. Do I want to invest time into this? I mean, I could do it just for the practice. Sometimes I think if I up my illustration game, I could produce RIPDD like Bebe’s Kids
Anyway, that’s just a fraction of the thoughts swirling in my head.
What’s the Should Monster telling you? Which of these ideas to you think I you work on?